<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.1//EN"
"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml11/DTD/xhtml11.dtd">
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
<head>
<title>puns</title>
<meta name="generator" content="BBEdit 9.3" />
</head>
<body>
Puns for Educated Minds
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.<br>
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.<br>
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.<br>
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.<br>
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.<br>
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.<br>
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.<br>
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.<br>
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.<br>
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.<br>
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.<br>
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'<br>
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.<br>
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'<br>
15 The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.<br>
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.<br>
17. A backward poet writes inverse.<br>
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.<br>
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.<br>
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.<br>
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'<br>
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'<br>
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.<br>
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'<br>
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.<br>
26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.<br>
</body>
</html>